the tragedy that we knew as the end.

i'm not a mean person.
i wouldn't wish harm to come to anyone, and i don't really ever say i hate someone.
because it's such a strong, strong word.
but there's this girl.

this girl that i've spent five years of my life with, through force really.
because she was always part of a group of friends, the rest of the friends i actually saw as friends. but her. her, i've always hated.

she's one of those people that when it's just you and them, they're lovely, considerate and you get on amazingly. but when they're with a whole group of people, they're completely different towards you.
i hate people like that.

so, i really hate this girl.
and really, in all honesty, i wouldn't even shed one measley tear if someone mowed her down with their car. i wouldn't care, i would shrug my shoulders and get on with my life.
call me evil, call me mean, call me a bitch, but i don't care.
i've lost the patience and the ability to deal with her anymore.
and i'm glad i'll never have to see her ever a-freakin'-gain.

i've never ever felt so much hate for a person before.
i've never been the one to deal with people being had a go at, or people who's misfortunes are obvious, or people who are sad. i've always wanted to help, to do something, to somehow ease someone's pain.
she makes me so pissed to see her, and the things that she does, they hurt.
they're probably pathetic to everyone else, if i told you what she does, you would be like, wtf lydia, pull yourself together.

but the fact is, she made me care.
that's what pisses me off.
she made me feel guilty for having an arguement, and then she got ill, and i felt guilty. i thought it was my fault. i visited her in hospital, and i cried when i got home for her. i was so sad for her, i pitied her, i felt fucking guilty.
it makes me tear up now.
and then, the next time i saw her, she blanked me.

i hate her.
i really hate her.
and hey, i believe in karma.
so the way i see it, she deserves every bad thing that happens to her now.
like the failing of her exams.
(i laughed when i found out.)
take that you fucking bitch.

love your happy-to-get-that-all-off-my-chest-blog-writer,
lydia
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