i've been wondering what you're thinking.

media was not a very good start to the day, after all, we were all nervous giving our pathetic unprepared presentations, and the teacher seems to have turned into a hardass overnight. i don't get what is going on with her, but since we came back after christmas she's gone all moody and arrogant. perhaps, our class has lost it's former new toyish shine. perhaps, we aren't that good anymore to her, and she doesn't feel the need to be nice and comprimising.

english was good as it always is, even though i have the weirdest boy in the world sitting next to me. he's a friend now, even though he's asked me out two times already, but answer me this...

is getting on and being friends enough to make you fall in love with them? surely you have to have some kind of attraction, a physical attraction where all you can think about is their eyes, their lips, their smile. surely you need that before you can actually say, yes. i mean sure, you can harp on about really getting to know them, but you have to have that hard attraction. sure, they don't have to be the most gorgeous, good-looking person on the planet, and i admit i've had plenty of weird attractions to people.

but the attraction's gotta be there. it doesn't develop.

so back to the weird boy and english. it was fun, we just read and talked and discussed, and then it was over. and then it was history.

there is this guy, and gawd only knows why, but i have a thing for him. i've barely even spoken to him! i mean, that's pathetic right? but when he's there, it gives me butterflies and i almost find it difficult to breathe when he looks at me. it's pathetic, and i can't even speak to him, because i don't see him anywhere else but in the classroom. and for that reason, i've got no chance of him ever noticing me, or thinking of me like that but underneath all of that self-doubt, there's a tiny little glimmer of hope. that maybe, baby.

so, let's move on to the last agenda of this post; bitches.
they come in all shapes and sizes, and unfortunately there are quite a few at the college to which i attend. there is one girl in particular that is pissing me off something cronic. she's like a bug that you've squashed, but somehow she keeps regenerating and coming back to life to piss you off even more.
she's so mean and so rude to everyone around her, unless you are also rude and mean, then you're in her little clique of bitches.

the thing that really, really pisses me off is how horrible she is to my psychology teacher. and he doesn't fight back, tell her off, reprimand her for being cruel or just for being a bitch, he just takes it! it doesn't make any fucking sense to me, i honestly wish he'd chuck her out of the class on her teeny, tiny ass! i can't stand people who think they can treat other people like shit, just because they are different. she is so fucking oblivious to anything that hasn't happened to her, and she sees everything in black and white, there's no grey area.

argh, i could actually murder her.
i would savour the moment too.

love, your slowly-psychotic-turning blog writer,
♥ lydiaaa
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