It's kind of pathetic that I've seen Season 2 of Grey's Anatomy at least five times all the way through, and still I get choked up when Denny is dying and Doc is being put to sleep. I think, whilst watching shows or films like that, you put yourself in the place of the characters. You imagine yourself watching the man you love die, and you imagine the dog that you've spent a few good years of your life looking after, slowly slipping away.
I know that on the dog part, I would definitely be inconsolable. On the other side, I've never been in love so I can't say, although I would suppose that it would be heart-wrenching, a feeling uncomparable to anything one's every experienced.
At the minute, I feel like I'm just drifting through life from one day to another. I suppose after watching so many television programmes in my life when it's all drama, drama, drama, reality pales in comparison. You can take two sides on this, and I'm not sure which side I'm on. Yesterday, I said to my mum that I was a bit fed up with the whole feeling of limbo, and she looked at me and said, 'Lydia, what's the other alternative to living?' I'm sure you can figure that out yourself.
The two sides are this: Reality is boring, and we're all just stumbling through each day waiting for the inevitable. Or the other side is, life is beautiful and that we should treasure each day. Of course, it's easy for a person to say life is beautiful, blah-de-blah, if their life is going exactly as hoped for and planned. But for the rest of us?
No, life isn't a bunch of roses.
Gosh, how pessimistic do I sound? I bet you're thinking, jeez what a killjoy? I mean, if you knew me and saw me nearly everyday like my friends do at college... Hell, I'm a pretty upbeat person. People think I'm crazy... (or Scottish, yeah, I don't get it either) to be so happy and chatty throughout the day. And to an extend I am that person, but recently I've just been feeling meh.
I think I'm outgrowing the life that I'm living now. Little arguements crop up at home, and I know I want to get out and go to Uni and start living how I want to. I'm 18, I want my life to start. Or at least, the life that I want.
But until then, I'll watch Glee and keep my upbeat-ness to maximum level. :)
You know you love it. ;)
Love, Lydia.
1 comment:
I know what you mean about waiting to get out now - I think once you realize that there's more outside your comfort zone, you internally push yourself to keep moving forward. It's impossible to stay put, unless you're afraid of moving forward (and this is easily fixable with a firm kick in the behind haha). Good post my beautiful woman :) Miss you!
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