i know it ain't easy, giving up your heart.

The last few months of University have been hectic and it feels like we've already crossed the finish line. This is it, this is the end. But it's not. For one, I've got Easter break and then we're back in Halls for another month, and we're all studying for exams. There will be no going out, no drinking in the flat, and certainly no days spent procrastinating on the beach. And secondly, we have another two full years in University. We have another two years together, learning more about each other and developing these amazing friendships. But even though that is all true, I couldn't help but get a little emotional yesterday when my flatmates started to leave one after the other. We're only going to be apart for 3 weeks at the most, but still, it felt like saying goodbye to members of my family. And they are - as corny as it sounds - I care about them more than I care about friends that I've known for longer. I hope they feel the same - but who knows? I want to get my focus back - scratch that - I need to get my focus back. I haven't been the best student this semester. There have been so many distractions and yeah, I know I should have the willpower to say no, but I really don't. I like to think I'm a strong person with strong morals but I have to say that University really does test those morals. I think you find out what you believe in here. It's probably not just University in general, it's probably just life and growing up. But, you know what I mean. I want to get back home and completely detox. No alcohol, no cigarettes, no takeaways, no nights out. I want to be a boring loser - so that I can get back my inspiration and start writing again. I miss this! I haven't posted on here in 5 whole months. That's so long to be without the want to writer for a writer. And I can tell that my essays have even suffered for it. I've suffered for it. But it doesn't matter because in less than an hour, I will be driving back home. Back to my family and back to an 'easy' content life. ♥ Lydia.